How to Make Your Relationships Stronger (OXTR)

The Happy Marriage Study

Researchers tested the DNA of 356 married people (in 178 marriages) between the ages of 37 and 90. They determined each person’s genotype at rs53576 (AA, AG, or GG) and asked each person a series of questions meant to evaluate how strong or happy their marriages were [R].

Strength or happiness of marriage is an extremely subjective measurement, so the researchers broke their questions down to evaluate aspects of each marriage: general happiness with the relationship, the way that they handle disagreements, and each partner’s opinion of the other, to name a few [R].

The most robust link they found was also the simplest: people with the ‘GG’ genotype at rs53576 were more likely to feel close to their partners and secure in their relationships. Even a single copy of the ‘A’ allele reduced these measurements of happiness in marriage [R].

Why is OXTR Important?

We’ve known for decades that oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone, is vital for social bonding and empathy. That may be why the oxytocin receptor gene, OXTR, is among the best-studied genes in the human genome [R].

At rs53576 of the OXTR gene, people with the ‘GG’ genotype tend to have stronger, happier marriages.

Oxytocin & Attachment Security

What is Attachment Theory?

The theory of attachment (also called attachment style) is a framework psychologists use to describe the way we form social bonds with each other. According to this theory, our relationships are defined by whether our view of self and of other people is positive or negative [R].

If, for example, a young man has positive thoughts about himself and about his long-term girlfriend, he is said to have a secure attachment. Negative thoughts about himself, his girlfriend, or both lend themselves to one of the three types of insecure attachment: anxious (negative view of self), dismissive-avoidant (negative view of others), or fearful-avoidant (negative view of both) [R].

People with insecure attachments are, unsurprisingly, much less likely to have happy, long-lasting relationships [R].

Where Does Oxytocin Come In?

Behavior affects oxytocin release, and oxytocin affects attachment security. Pleasant physical touch (like hugging, cuddling, or sex) and rewarding interactions (like receiving gratitude for a gift or favor) cause oxytocin to be released, which makes us feel good about these social experiences [R, R].

However, some people get more of a boost than others. Those with the ‘T’ allele at rs3796863 in the CD38 gene release more oxytocin than those without it [R].

Meanwhile, people with the ‘GG’ genotype at rs53576 are more sensitive to oxytocin, likely because they have more efficient oxytocin receptors. Therefore, the burst of oxytocin that comes from satisfying social interactions will have more of an effect on ‘GG’ people than on those with the ‘A’ allele [R].

Why is CD38 Important?

In recent years, this gene was identified as part of the pathway that releases oxytocin in the brain. More CD38 activity releases more oxytocin and enhances empathy and social communication [R, R].

One recent study found that the 'G' allele at rs3796863 is associated with higher reported levels of relationship security and satisfaction compared to the 'T' allele. People with the 'GG' genotype were, on average, more cooperative with their romantic partners than those with the 'T' allele [R].

More active and efficient oxytocin systems are associated with secure attachment and strong relationships.

Primary SNP: OXTR rs53576

• ‘G’ = More attachment security, more optimism, more empathy and trust, relationships more resilient to stress
• ‘A’ = Less attachment security, more pessimism, relative lack of empathy, less resilient relationships

Other SNPs that may be involved:

OXTR rs2268494

• ‘T’ = More empathy in relationships, better communication with a partner
• ‘A’ = Less empathy in relationships, poorer communication with a partner

OXTR rs2254298

• ‘AG’ = The most empathy
• ‘AA’ = Less empathy
• ‘GG’ = Least empathy, less supportive of romantic partner

OXTR rs1042778

• ‘G’ = More empathy in relationships, more generosity, more total oxytocin in the body
• ‘T’ = Less empathy in relationships, less generosity

CD38 rs3796863

• ‘T’ = More oxytocin released, more sensitive parenting
• ‘G’ = Less oxytocin released, poorer social communication

The Chemistry of Love

It is extremely difficult to unravel the effect of any one hormone on something as complex as a social relationship. This sort of research can be controversial; some people still get downright angry about the idea of love as “just a bunch of chemicals.”

That hasn’t stopped researchers from trying to understand the biochemical nature of relationships, and oxytocin and its receptors have emerged as central players [R, R, R].

At OXTR rs53576, the ‘G’ allele is associated with increased receptor efficiency, while the ‘A’ allele is associated with decreased receptor efficiency. That is, the more ‘G’ alleles you have, the more sensitive you are to the prosocial (and love-promoting) effects of oxytocin [R].

Flexibility and Forgiveness

Dispositional forgiveness is a term used to describe a person’s willingness and ability to repair a relationship after it is damaged [R].

Each copy of the ‘G’ allele at rs53576 is linked to more dispositional forgiveness; in other words, if a person with this allele is hurt or hurts another person, they are more likely to make amends. They are more likely to forgive and to be forgiven, which helps them build stronger relationships after conflict [R].

Researchers believe that highly active oxytocin receptors may encourage people to pursue constructive interactions to preserve a relationship in crisis—as opposed to destructive interactions that might end the relationship for good [R].

This is an important thing to remember if you have one or more ‘A’ alleles at OXTR rs53576: oxytocin isn’t a magic bullet. It just promotes good behavior! If you have the ‘A’ allele here (or other alleles that may make conflict resolution more difficult), you can still take action to counteract those effects, and knowing your genetic predispositions is the first step.

More efficient oxytocin systems encourage people to resolve conflicts and respond constructively to disagreements.

The Partner Effect

If you don’t have the rs53576 ‘GG’ genotype, but your spouse does, you’re in luck: their genes benefit you, too! Researchers call it the partner effect, and it may have to do with the way oxytocin promotes dispositional forgiveness [R].

If your partner has the ‘GG’ genotype and you have at least one ‘A’ allele, that doesn’t mean you should rely on them to solve all your relationship problems. You might just have to work a bit harder than they do to learn the same conflict resolution skills.

If even one partner in a pair has the ‘GG’ genotype at OXTR rs53576, the relationship is more likely to last through conflict.